08.17.09
Posted in The Bad at 6:43 pm by learningteacher
It seems I have a period of time where I am okay with my performance as a teacher. Then all of a sudden it hits me…”OMG I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing”, “My kids aren’t getting what they need”, “I haven’t marked a book for a while”, “Did I assess my last unit!!”
Now I know, for the most part, I am a good teacher. I care (deeply) about my students, I plan interesting, relevant and exciting units and I am always researching and trying to become a better teacher. However, I have philosophical issues with assessment (for ‘topic’ not literacy and numeracy) and marking. I also believe that in order to be the best teacher possible I need a balance between work and life. So what gives?
I have a highly disruptive and difficult student in my class. He was specially placed there as he was too disruptive to be anywhere else. I have a genuine desire to help this kid. He has never had a break. He has struggled his entire schooling. He is less than 6 months off high school. I am the last chance. But my other students have expressed concern as they do not believe they should have to put up with him. I just don’t know how I feel about this. I think the students should learn tolerance and how to adapt to ‘different’ people but they have never been in a class with a student like this. And I am really his very last chance. What a responsibility. How do I balance a quality education for all? Particularly when parents begin to get involved. What are our responsibilities as educators? Equal opportunities? Quality learning? Sigh.
Again I am faced with the question — is it all worth it? Does the guilt and feeling of ‘uselessness’ outweigh the fact that on the most part I am good at what I do? And more than that — I need to know that my kids are learning, that they feel valued, and will become responsible, resilient, caring, successful member of society.
Teaching…it isn’t easy. We do it for the love of it.
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04.01.09
Posted in The Bad, The Ugly at 6:47 pm by learningteacher
Teaching is a profession that takes a lot out of a person. I know of no other profession where ones heart and soul is so closely embedded into the daily grind. When there is success you feel amazing – on top of the world. On the days when things are a little harder you feel as though you have been run over by a bus.
I take teaching very seriously. Devote a lot of time, heart and effort into ‘making a difference’ to my students. I am passionate about being innovative and creative. I try really hard to be the best I can be for my students. Sometimes though this is challenged and I find myself having to justify my actions and beliefs. Sadly, the majority of the time these justifications are to people who have little understanding of the job.
I get into this mindset or mood where I feel really defeated – that perhaps my energy would be better spent doing something where I am truly appreciated. Where I can go home at six and not worry about students that are not progressing. Where I don’t feel like criticsm of my work is a personal attack.
I am hoping this black cloud is a symptom of end of term. I hope I will feel reinvigorated and positive when I wake up in the morning.
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07.02.08
Posted in The Bad, The Ugly tagged burnout, ICT, learning at 4:51 pm by learningteacher
I was told 4 years ago as a beginning teacher that ‘burn out’ rates were very high in new graduates. I don’t believe that ‘burn out’ is what forces most beginning teachers out of teaching but rather it is a painful initiation into ‘the system’. Here is a story of a teacher I know very well.
As a new teacher fresh from training she was passionate, energetic, excited and genuinely believed that she could truly make a difference. And she did. Then she learned was that this attitude to teaching and learning was inappropriate — at least making others aware of her passion was not appropriate. It would seem that new teachers should be seen and not heard. They have not ‘done their time’ so have not earned the right to have an opinion or question anything.
Slowly over the following two to three years this enthusiasm was squeezed out and an (almost) experienced teacher took her place. This one had become quieter, less enthusiastic, taught the same thing over and over again and had decided that — no — teachers don’t really make a difference. She had faded into grey. Opinions about teaching and learning were kept to herself as she had learnt from the past that believing in something and being told she was ‘too opinionated’ and ‘didn’t know her place’ had left her with a sense of alienation and exclusion.
She almost….almost became a clone of her predecessors and colleagues. Her belief system was veiled by the idea that meetings and staffroom talk should not be about teaching and learning but about how naughty the children had been today and ‘general housekeeping’. She had become lazy and an ineffective teacher.
Then she discovered a new world in teaching. ICT tools and a personal learning network that allowed her to communicate with people that were GENUINELY teaching for the love of it. They talked about teaching and learning– all the time. They encouraged her to join them. It reminded her of why she went teaching in the first place. She was feeling good about teaching and learning again and couldn’t help sharing her enthusiasm and passion with her colleagues. Some of them even started to experiment with these tools — much to her excitement.
These positive feelings were short-lived when she was told again and again that she was scaring people and making them feel uncomfortable. She was told only today by a colleague that it might be an idea if she found a teaching job elsewhere. She is trying not to become disheartened with ‘the system’. She is trying to stay bright and remain focused on what is important — the kids and their learning. How much is too much to take?
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05.18.08
Posted in The Bad, The Ugly tagged children, depression, mental health, self esteem at 8:32 pm by learningteacher
I have some serious concerns about the mental health of our children in this day and age. Opening a can of worms this week I asked my students to comment about their feelings in their weekly reflection logs. I asked them to comment about how they felt at school, how they felt at home and how they were feeling about the world in general.
I was horrified to discover that the vast majority of students used the words lonely, sad or angry to describe themselves. I am talking here about 9 and 10 year old kids. What kind of a world are we creating for this generation? The world is saturated with death and despair. The media is out of control.
I have 9 year olds that are so obsessed with their bodies and looks. Most are having identity crises and many are displaying the symptoms of clinical depression.
What do we do, as educators, to ensure that our students are in the frame of mind to learn? How do we support them in this ever changing and globalised society? Are children facing these issues at an increasingly younger age? How has ‘connectedness’ influenced their interpretation of themselves?
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04.15.08
Posted in The Bad, The Good, The Ugly tagged bored, control, difference, management, power, Year 5/6, Year 7/8 at 8:30 pm by learningteacher
I had a very interesting conversation with a (very trusted) colleague yesterday. I teach at a Year 5/6 (aged 8-10) level in a full primary school. We were discussing the fact that a teacher at the Year 7/8(aged 10-13) level was having a lot of control and management issues with her class this year. I made an off-hand comment that they were all the children I had previously taught. In fact I had taught most of them for the previous two years.
It wasn’t until further reflection that I considered that it was not a coincidence that they have proven to be the most ‘difficult’ class . I teach my students to question ideas, to think for themselves and to reach their potential. Unfortunately this does not integrate well into a class where students are required to ’sit down and shut up’. They are – I believe – being dumbed down.
When I say ‘dumbed down’ I mean that they are required to do menial tasks and are not challenged. These kids are bored to death! They are not being intellectually stimulated nor are they being emotionally supported. I am sure that this teacher is great at doing the basics. But wow! What a waste of these exceptional students.
I taught them to self regulate their learning. A lot of the time they ran their own learning programmes. They were asked their opinions and encouraged to justify their ideas. We talked incessantly about their lives post-schooling and how everything we did in school was about preparation for the real world.
Am I at fault? Should I have made them less autonomous, more dependent. Should I have reminded them that as an adult and teacher in the classroom that I am the only one who is right?
I don’t think so.
And what’s worse I am at it again!!! A new class being moulded into independent and confident young people. Youth with a voice. With perhaps the power and the will to make a difference for their generation?
Hmmm……
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04.09.08
Posted in The Good at 8:53 pm by learningteacher
Teachers do not often get a pat on the back. I received a very special letter today from a child in my class (let’s call her Jane) who left after a year and a half. It read:
…[this year has] been really great for me because you were there for me this past year and a bit and I have carried so many special memories with me and I will carrie them with me my whole life you were a great teacher a very special and heart caring one…
I have posted this because it reminds me of the effect I potentially have on all of my students. I have spent a lot of time helping this child who has a pretty horrific home life and questionable social skills (her fault?– no!) because I believe she can be and is an excellent student and will contribute greatly to our community given a little direction and stability.
Sometimes I hear teachers complaining about how they didn’t become a teacher to be a social worker — that is exactly why I became a teacher!! Originally I studied psychology because I wanted to help others. I soon discovered that by the time people get to the stage where they might seek the help of a psychologist they are already damaged and broken. As a teacher I have the potential to help these people before they are too damaged. The greatest thing I believe we can teach a child is self worth, self belief and self esteem.
Jane has given me more than she will ever know — a reminder about why it is I am a teacher.
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04.08.08
Posted in The Good tagged , empowerment, mother, responsibility, social worker, teacher, teaching at 9:02 pm by learningteacher
As I venture through my classroom door I remind myself that I am in it for the love of it. I believe that I canmake a difference but I am not so naive that I think every child will be ’saved’. Teaching for me is about inspiration and power. Inspiring children to be all they can be empowering them to be strong enough to be that person.
I have other blogs but I wanted a place where I can be anonymous — where I can rant and rave and ponder and reflect. A place I can be brutally honest without the fear of reprehension.
Like any teacher I have my ups, downs and too tired to even think moments. I am the best teacher, the worst teacher and the unaffected. In any given day I am the entertainer, the mother, the social worker, the friend and sometimes the only stable and functioning adult in a child’s life. The responsibility and enormity of this is frightening and empowering.
Nobody said it was going to be easy. I am in it for the love of it.
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